I have not written in a while. I would have to remember how to put one word after another.
No matter how many excuses I tried to make, that I’m being robbed off an ambition and leading to another, the truth is that I failed. And I’m a dropout. Even when it’s in a condition where I can’t help and I can’t explain why.
It has been quite a tormenting thought as I predicted. It would haunt me till the day I find the answer to life’s challenges and how it unfolds itself.
But until that day, I’ll still be depressed every time I explain about the rather wasted 3 years of my failing life. No matter how hard I try to live a new life with new ambitions, the ghost of my past will still haunt me and I’ll still be miserable. And I still feel miserable.
And hopeless.
Like a failed progeny with another perfect sibling to compare with. One day, it will come out that way. The ugly truth that they would have to lie their way to explain to me when I’m wasted and drunk and babbling every strain of misery in me.
And when that day comes, they will be worried again.
Yes, their eyes will be opened again.
-Nate
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